Sunday, December 21, 2014

Movie Review: Looking to fill your Christmas Movie watching list? Bill Murray's "Scrooged" isn't one of them but "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas" worth watching with your kids

I never saw "Scrooged" with Bill Murray and after trying to watch it on NetFlix, I now know why.  I must've been warned not to waste two hours of my life by someone who cared about me.  Even Bill Murray couldn't save this meandering diatribe of cinematic futility.  So, I'm passing the advice on to you, in case you stumble across "Scrooged" somewhere in the $.50 DVD bin at the Goodwill or you roamed past it on your NetFlix movie list.

Let me just summarize it this way:  It's one of the worst movies ever made, empty of anything resembling Christmas -- more than Scrooge's twisted soul at the beginning of the Charles Dickens tale it butchers at every scene's cut.  If only the editor would have just kept cutting the original film until it was chopped into confetti, millions of American viewers would have been spared up to this time and perhaps some of the actors in it would have enjoyed prolonged acting careers.

Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas


It being around Christmas, I have to end on a positive note and that's Jim Henson's "Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas."  I remember watching this as a kid and loved the music -- I still do.  If you have kids between 2 and 8, reserve an hour to watch this Christmas classic.

Its puppets are mostly controlled with strings, and you can even see the strings as the loveable otter and his mom skate on the ice.  "Emmett Otter's" has charm and memorable scenes that will stay with your kids for years to come.  It's a good Christmas memory, its miniature set of snow falling on a poh-dunk town to a distinct banjo/washboard/jug band sound.  Buy a copy -- it's during the "master of the muppet's" beginnings (remember "Fraggle Rock"?!) and it's worth watching their unapologetic ode to simple country Christmas traditions!

Sunday, September 21, 2014

Despair.com's Illboards so ruthlessly true, it may hurt some of your feelings

The geniuses at the anti-corporate capitalist capitalists Despair.com have done it again!

There are so many truisms that can make you smile, just go to http://www.despair.com/illboards.html.

My favorite is probably the Al Gore one.  The one about Dick Cheney was only half-true, I do believed he apologized to his friend for shooting him in the face, but I'm sure they're right about his personality!

If you're offended by Despair's messages, I'd like to apologize in advance for your thin skin and feel sorry for you.

Here's an example that exemplifies the arrogance and hypocrisy that epitomizes so many meddling, big government politicians.

I'd like to add another one about Michael Bloomberg.

"Michael Bloomberg:  Proof that if you're smart at least one thing you can become a billionaire then bash the system that helped you achieve your fortune."

As a fan of Despair for over a decade, I am fascinated with this company and it's ability to make most of its money with one simple principle as its guiding force:


Sarcasm!  :-(


Michael Bloomberg


PHOTO: Rubenstein


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Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Sensio Labs Symfony PHP framework cheatsheet and other resources

If you are learning or using the Symfony PHP framework, you will find a lot of free resources, including tutorial videos, code examples, bundles with sample projects and data.  Another resource for those frequently-used snippets and samples that can help you code faster and keep the project moving can be found at http://tools.belchamber.us/symfony-cheatsheet/.

- Aaron Belchamber
www.AaronBelchamber.com

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

PREVIEW: New DSLR Camera for Taking Pictures and High-Def Video: Nikon D3300 and Two Lens Kits

Raw Samples

Most of these sample shots were made with the 18 - 55 mm lens, but with no lighting or adjusting these pictures, you can check out the quality of some of our first "macro" samples:

http://www.thespottedwalrus.com/outdoor-and-nature-new-photos-with-our-new-nikon-d3300/

Nikon D3300 Overview

For the price, this DSLR camera from Nikon packs quite a punch.  It has a few limitations that you sacrifice by saving the money buying a higher priced model -- enough to buy another NIKKOR lens with!  Though this model has the same sensors and most features of the D5300, Nikon left a few features out of the D3300, but it's hard to notice.  GPS tagging and the capability of wi-fi may not be built in, but you are still able to add these features later if you wish.  I'd suggest saving the money on the body and buy nice lenses to give you a great range of capabilities.

The D3300 is lightweight and very easy to use.  We bought one with the NIKKOR 18 - 55mm lens and then a NIKKOR 55 - 200mm telephoto lens to give us more range.

Another great feature is that it can shoot in full HD at 60 frames per second (fps)!  I would have asked for a few more video features and controls, but overall the quality of video is stunning for the price.  For instance, for some strange reason, you cannot control the aperture when in "live video mode", though you have full manual control over the camera if you wish in video mode, it is difficult in outdoor conditions to be sure your picture is in focus.  Something you have to get used to and find other ways to overcome -- it'd be terrible to shoot video to only find out things weren't in focus.

More photo samples, videos and a full review to come!  For more information, visit the product page on Nikon's website at http://www.nikonusa.com/en/Nikon-Products/Product/Digital-SLR-Cameras/D3300.html.

So far, we are very pleased with the 3300, it's ease of use, light weight, advanced features, and professional quality.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Smashwords.com: A great place to get your book or screenplay published.

Smashwords, a self-publishing platform for authors of all kinds, is at the forefront of the exploding self-publishing revolution.  Blogging has made thousands of people millionaires by simply sharing their opinions in a forum they control online, earning income from ad revenue and endorsements, fueling the ability to reach the masses.  The irony is that many of these people who make money blogging would do it for free -- they just want to express themselves and be heard, so much so, there are people who would be happy to even pay to blog!

Web publishing has empowered millions of people to express themselves and Smashwords makes it easy to self-publish, it's so easy you could have your own ISBN and your book on Amazon and iTunes in the less than a day.  Pretty powerful!  The web, and its ability to deliver content at little cost has supplemented the income of millions of people in the form of blogs, websites, self-publishing, and self distribution.  The ability to self-publish and self distribute high resolution video content and reach a potential world audience with little distribution costs, little physical labor or material costs, and no costs in energy has already transformed many lives and revolutionized the publishing and entertainment industry.

I felt empowered when I published a short story I wrote for a writing contest and decided to publish it on Smashwords.  I haven't exceeded my goal of 10,000 downloads, but it get closer to that every day.  Not exactly Stephen King, but it was a great feeling that people actually took the time to download it on their e-reader and perhaps read the whole story, all 2,340 words of it!  Here's a snapshot and link to my short story if you would like to learn more about Smashwords and how explore how it works, no better place to start than a word-of-mouth recommendation!


If you want to learn more, feel free to contact me through the contact form at my website or Google +.  I had such a great experience I decided to publish a screenplay I wrote back in 2008 called "Fine English".  You can visit the landing page for this full 27,000 word screenplay.  Smashwords help you market and distributes your book to a network of over 100 million subscribers throughout the world.  Here's the cover and link to the screenplay:




I unfortunately encountered a few formatting errors, which Smashwords is very good at helping authors rectify.  They don't want your work showing up on iTunes and other digital libraries looking wonky.  You can even set a "sample" portion to "tease" readers and allow them to read a little bit of your book to help them decide if they want to download it.  Revenue sharing is a pretty fair arrangement, and the options for different readers to download your work in multiple formats for Kindles, iPads, etc are thorough and pretty reliable.

No more "middle-men" and publishing "gatekeepers"

Information and stories used to take so long to reach people because they had to be in physical forms and be physically distributed so they could be read.  All that energy and time to put into making copies then packing them on horseback or put in ships that sailed across the vast oceans.  It's amazing we humans ever bothered to leave the caves we lived in.  Now, we complain when our Internet connection is slow so the latest movie we're streaming pauses to fill the buffer.  Good grief, we're all such wusses now.

The Internet has unleashed the individual, it has empowered them to bypass the "middle man".  If you had enough creativity and guts, you not only can publish your book without dealing with an agent OR a pedantic publisher, you can produce your own movies and distribute them yourself without being beholden to distributors and agents and the other self-serving industry insiders who like to think their club is just too exclusive for the masses.  Likewise, a book author no longer has to go through a publisher, they can just post their writing online.  Many literary agents and book publishers are self-proclaimed experts and most of them, like all of us, are only human and subject to perceptions that are skewed, distorted and often too self-serving so they may think they're experts but in actuality they've lived too long in a bubble and aren't really in tune with what the plethora of markets ripe for paying readers.  One more thing about publishers, they always say they're looking for specific topics, genres and material, so they don't bother accepting or reading anything out of their own comfort zone.  Does this sound like a good business model?  Doesn't it cost the same to print 320 pages of novel X as it does novel Y?!

J.K. Rowling was rejected over 6 times before a publisher accepted her work, enough said about the "wisdom" of the publishing industry.  No longer do individuals and groups have to produce their creative vision to please these gatekeepers!  It's been a revolution in the making that will soon reach its apex the first time a complete unknown, perhaps the next Thomas Payne, breaks the 10 million book download threshold for his (or her) masterpiece that will shape America's future and mold its destiny much like Thomas Payne's Common Sense did centuries ago.  The miracle here will not just be the feat of obscurity beaten merely by the pure quality of one's writing, but the very fact not a single book will be physically printed and the book will manage to reach and impact so many people.  Possible?  You bet.  Will it happen?  I believe so, eventually.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Speed up your Wordpress website quickly at no cost

Please check out my latest review of "WP Fastest Cache", a Wordpress plug-in that I have been using this past year.  I hope it helps speed up your website.  In some cases, I have seen a 10 fold decrease in load times!

http://tools.belchamber.us/wordpress-caching-accelerating-your-website-reliably-with-wp-fastest-cache/

Monday, April 14, 2014

Filing Taxes Last Minute? H & R Block Tax Preparation Easy and Fast

If you are looking for a last minute recommendation to filing your taxes, I haven't experienced a better service than H & R Block.  In less than 30 minutes, you can file your taxes at www.HRBlock.com and it's free unless you have some crazy deductions or need to file a Schedule C for a small business.  If you have a couple of businesses, you will only be charged once for one or more Schedule C's.

It's well worth the $34.99 they charge for those extra business write-offs.  H & R Block has continuously improved their website useability and overall cover almost every dreaded IRS income tax detail to the very last stone which they do not leave unturned.  It has been a very good service, it's just, well.... unfortunate that we Americans do it to ourselves and have voted for politicians and created such a monstrous machine.

Why do we subject ourselves to the torture of having to file taxes?   Seriously.

...It's just unfortunate and a waste of our country's resources and collective time that we have this silly annual filing fest in the first place

Why can't it just be a simple pay-as-you-go and WHY, someone please tell me, WHY do we tax peoples' income of all things?!  Taxing income is the most counter-productive, idiotic, self-destructive scam ever invented.  There's no surer way to hold back a nation's potential, burden the poor, and encourage waste, fraud, and sloth.  Why do we punish people for working to put food on the table?  Why do we discourage industry and productivity so directly?  Why don't we just come out and say it -- "If you work you will have to pay for the privilege."  How stupid can you get?

I know what you're going to say, it's because we need to pay taxes for all the government provides us.  Do you really think the government provides us?  Is taxing income really the only way a government can get money from its citizens?  Really?!  Think about this -- your taxes are providing for the government and in return you get to categorize, file, claim, mail, vouch, record, stamp, sign, seal, file (again), notarize, pay, deposit, dispute, amend, stand in line like some paralegal clerk on endless fools errands.  Yes, all these fun things for us all to do, enacted by us all.

We're all a bunch of foolish chumps getting fleeced, out to turn hard working Americans into pencil pushing, paper filing, tie-wearing, accountant and attorney supporting misguided, misallocating sissies our predecessors, ancestors, forefathers, past titans of industry, previous philosophers and other real people who helped build this country with their blood and sweat would shake their head in disgust at.  We have lost our way, America.

For those who would also appreciate the absurdity of carrying a typewriter into a battlefield, I hope one day we regain our common sense and find a better way and lean our government to the size and scope the Constitution is meant to restrict it to -- before it's too late.

Until then, be a chump like me and file your taxes on time then go to work and earn the right to do it again.  Aren't we lucky.  ... or start voting Libertarian!


Monday, April 7, 2014

Disaster Restoration, Home Remediation, and Home Service Companies have an experienced advertising ally with RestorationAdvertising.com

Television advertising is still the strongest and most effective form of advertising.  If you own a disaster restoration company in the U.S. or Canada, I bet competition for market share is high.  Often, the tactics of some of the bigger restoration/remediation companies means to attack or mock the smaller companies.

"They only have 3 trucks and 6 employees, they can't handle bigger jobs," they will clamor, omitting the fact that they themselves often need to resort to using subcontractors or share resources for bigger restoration jobs.  What your smaller restoration company needs is a solid plan -- a business AND marketing plan.  Then, you need to assess your budgets and align them with your expectations.

If you can afford to invest enough advertising dollars to reach 100 GRPs of your market (that's gross rating points) every month and sustain that for a whole year, if that won't break your advertising budget, do it.  Why?  You need to advertise consistently to build your name awareness and be top-of-mind.

No one plans on a disaster

No one ever wants to make a call to your company, but if they come home to a flooded home, chances are if you're in Richmond Virginia you will remember to call "MA Williams Heating and Air" over someone else.  Why?  They advertise.  They stand out, they air memorable TV spots that break through the local clutter and catch the viewers' attention.

Many companies out there strive to accomplish raising their market profile but without a cohesive plan in place, a budget and a commitment to let advertising work for them, they fall short.  They resort to all sorts of ploys, radio, email campaigns, mailers, newspaper ads.  Still, all advertising studies prove that as effective as an advertising mix is, you're still much better off -- 20 to 1 in many cases when measuring your ROI, to invest your advertising into television first and augment with the rest.

TV leaves a bigger imprint on the brain

This is a fact that people who view video recall the content much more frequently and longer than any other form of advertising.  Since TV is so effective, if your company is spending money on other forms of advertising and your fleet vehicles are decked out, your company office building and warehouse(s) are clean and marked with excellent signage, your website is SMART PHONE FRIENDLY, and you already have a sales manager to build relationships within the community, focus on your budget and expectations to see if you shouldn't allocate any remaining advertising dollars to a persistent, consistent, and memorable television ad campaign so you can STAY TOP OF MIND.

For more information, visit RestorationAdvertising.com.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Tortoise SVN & CollabNet Subversion Edge: A great document versioning repository starter kit and a simple and fast way to manage your code projects for free

About two years ago I was introduced to Tortoise SVN.  I confess I heard of it before but never looked into it.  Revision control is very important in managing many of your code projects, but it can even be used for many other types of digital projects and be very useful for any activity where you have a team of people contributing parts of digital assets used towards the compilation of a larger project.  It can store almost any type of file, including text, images, and special documents like PDF and .doc files.

It's a big undo time machine.  It's like a gatekeeper, bookkeeper, filing cabinet, secretary, note taker, and more.  As a matter of fact, the only thing it needs is about a 20 minute installation and plenty of disk space somewhere on your network.  It does most of the work, but if you ever made a change to the website and needed to restore it quickly back to a version that was more stable, you can do all that with a click of a button.

Worry free tracing and tracking as the puzzle gets built

Though I'll focus on the benefits of managing your web code for websites using Tortoise SVN with CollabNet's SubersionEdge SVN server, I can't help but look back and wonder how I worked at so many large corporate companies and they did not take advantage of document versioning and how much easier everyone's lives would have been, how much time we all would have saved had we been using revision control!  It streamlines many things and becomes more useful and vital as the size of your organization and the number of contributors to any digital projects grow.  I am not exaggerating, it will make your company more productive and save countless hours reassembling, hunting down, recreating documents and other digital assets.

The systems that control revisions are called different names, according to its Wiki page, it's known as "revision control", "version control", and "source control".  A VCS is a common acronym for a stand-alone program that accomplishes multiple versioning and document repository tasks.

20 minutes to having a professional code environment

You first need to install and run an SVN server.  There are plenty of different systems out there, some you can install on an existing server, of course, but some come with a server built in.  If this is your first time setting things up, your fastest solution isn't a bad choice at all -- even for large projects.

Install Subversion Edge

Go to www.collab.net/downloads/subversion and download and install the proper Subversion Edge file for your computer.  As of this article, it's free, unless you need the Enterprise version.  If you already have a server running on your computer, keep in mind that Subversion Edge should have its own IP address to work properly or you will have to do some deeper configuration and possibly change the port addresses as well.

Once you install Subversion Edge, there are some basic settings, just follow what they recommend, this should work 90% of the time and won't take you long.  Subversion Edge operates in the background, it's very efficient with your Windows resources.  I'm no Windows expert, but I believe Subversion Edge runs as a service, not a program, so it's not something you click and launch, it's just on until you stop the service in the computer's manage menu.

Getting to the SVN server is as easy as opening a web browser and typing in the computer's IP:3343, the number after the colon being the port.  The actual address will be provided to you upon set up, by the way.  It's simple, now you have a server, it's ready to accept any kind of document.  You have to set up your first repository, but that's easy, this is just like setting up a bank account -- you're setting up a place and some credentials so there's an understanding that things will be deposited or withdrawn in the form of digital information (unfortunately not money!)  I like to use the standard SVN folder structure where all the code gets stored in the /trunk -- just in case you are wondering when you install, your files don't have to mirror this and you can put them anywhere or not even in a sub folder.


Tortoise SVN

Now you need a way to tell your SVN what files and the location of files belong to a designated repository.  That's where Tortoise comes in, it's a simple program that operates on the Windows system level that will then piggy back onto Windows Explorer and add a contextual menu interface to allow you to do all sorts of things with a single file, group of files, or even a collection folders.  Keep in mind that Tortoise SVN isn't a program you double click and run, it's installed and running along with Windows Explorer that you call on mostly by right-clicking  to get to the menu to control things.

Here is a screenshot of Tortoise in action.  By the way, you don't need to install an SVN server like CollabNet, Tortoise does have its own built-in repository system, but this is local file based and really only recommended if your repository locations are kept on your local computer and not somewhere on a shared network drive.

Screenshot of Tortoise SVN contextual menu in Windows





Install Tortoise SVN

Just go to http://tortoisesvn.net/downloads.html and download the proper version for your computer.  There's a lot to learn about revision control and we've just touched the surface.  Knowing your previous code is safe and you can quickly restore code will empower you to not have to worry about keeping versions and multiple versions of files any more so you can focus on being more effective.

The first two commands you will learn is to "Add" files and "Commit" them.  Committing not only sends the files to the server and timestamps them, it allows you to type a quick note so you can reference the phase of the project at that particular time so you can easily reference and find those files later.

Another useful command you will probably use is "Clean Up", though it is unclear the background processes this involves, this usually helps keep your files in order before sending to the repository.  There are plenty of other very useful and more advanced features that you should experiment with when you get more comfortable using revisioning, especially if you work with multiple developers in collaborative team environment -- it's essential to learn how to branch and merge documents.  Also, never again will you have to just wonder how to compare two different versions of the same file and comb through line by line, Tortoise an highlight changes using a very straightforward file comparison tool.

Other uses for revision control

Revision control can also help manage and maintain creative projects such as video production or animations

I highly recommend using revision control for projects outside of web development!  For instance, if you are a 3D animator like me, you will tend to create a lot of versions of the same project and name each file with a sequential number and possibly a small note after it.  Being in the video production business for over 20 years, I know revision control could also help manage video projects, too.  Not only could you keep back ups of your video files automatically, you could version your animations, designs, and video editing projects in Adobe Premiere Pro or Apple Final Cut Pro without resorting to some crazy naming convention.  Whenever you reach a new phase of your project, you simply "Commit" the files to the repository.

Writing a novel?  Break it up into different sections and save them in their own repository so you can later have trackable notes and a history of your writing!

The other nice benefit of using document versioning is that all your past files aren't laying around in your main project folders, they're simply stored in the cloud, waiting for you if you need them!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Looking for an affordable email campaign service? The free version of this one is better than paid versions of most.

Talking eblasts: If it comes down to MyEmma or Mail Chimp, go with the monkey.  I've used both systems pretty extensively for different clients/employers in the past.  I know there are others, but I'm only reviewing what I know.  Constant Contact I hear is good, I know MyEmma is acceptable, Campaigner's a bit clunky, but when it comes to simple, fast, easy to use, yet very powerful, on top of performing best, being more reliable, and has by far the best interface, dashboard, campaign list manager, flexible ways to import your email addresses and other business contacts, it's no contest.

MyEmma?  Yo Emma

MyEmma claims it is designed by designers for designers.  I believe it, there's just something behind the scenes and under the hood that feels like the website was written by designers instead of industry-leading web developers.  Don't get people who mostly write code for a living to design websites, that's a good rule of thumb, but it also goes the other way.  Designers, leave the coding to the coders!

MyEmma's import functions are often clunky and I found them downright unreliable.  In the past, our graphic designer had to upload an Excel spreadsheet sometimes over the course of a couple days.  I found their customer support was slow and unresponsive, but I'll give them credit for following up and correcting the issues... eventually.  It came down to a few services and MyEmma came highly recommended.  They changed their pricing, yet for almost a year, a client of mine was not notified so they kept paying per email sent instead of the unlimited emails sent and pricing structure based on the total list of email recipients.  Not too happy with the fact they were not forthcoming and proactive with their customers.  One client was paying over $400 more each month than if they knew they qualified for the other plan!

Mail Chimp doesn't monkey around

Mail Chimp, on the other hand, I find is not only much easier to use, but for very small businesses with less than a thousand email addresses, you can run email campaigns at absolutely no cost as of this post.  Not only that, I found Mail Chimp's website to be the best in reliability, speed, performance, and interface design.  If you don't know HTML, there are plenty of great templates and a very easy and intuitive editor that will help you compose an email campaign that is fully scalable to mobile devices.  It's also very easy to clone and existing campaign so you don't have to start from scratch.  Before you send the email, or schedule it to be emailed, you can preview it on different devices.  Having tested it on my phone and other devices, it is a very reliable WYSIWYG.

Don't let their playful, goofy name fool you.  Mail Chimp's free service is pretty robust, going pro will unlock many other useful features that will allow you to optimize your campaigns.  As popular and powerful as email is becoming as the premier digital marketing medium, increasing your click through and conversion ratse by a half a percent could yield an amazing increase in profitable results.  Like many of the other email campaigner services, Mail Chimp has all the major features including merging certain data to customize each outgoing email, say, with the recipient's actual name or other useful data that will enable you to optimize your messaging and increase your email marketing effectiveness.


Split A/B Testing and more

Mail Chimp offers an easy way to manage split testing of your emails, it's amazing how small variances to your email design can often yield a 20% improvement.  This is an invaluable research tool that will allow you to increase your email campaigns while also providing you data that can help you determine the most effective marketing calls to action.  What appeals more?  What words inspire action in the market place?  The web is a great source of marketing research that will give you data to help make better and more informed marketing decisions later in other mediums and advertising, such as long form videos, TV commercials, radio ads, print ads, and even billboards.  Regional analytics, if your company has a wide service area, can help you rebalance your store inventory based on regional preferences and what is trending up and down in certain areas.  The web is your front line to experiment and run surveys and test sample your products and services.

A great free introduction

Mail Chimp has a great introductory program so if you have a small business and you don't know where to start, or you don't have much of a budget, you will thank me later by having learned about Mail Chimp here.  It's free to sign up, the website is excellent, its services are extremely powerful, I could go on with my praise.  I've been very impressed.  It's the easiest service to upload or import your client contact data.  They have a great feature where you can select a table from a customer list and copy it to your computer clipboard with Ctrl-C, then just paste it into the import text box.  No clicking "Browse" and having to find the Excel file to only find out it's not formatted right.  That was the problem Riddle's Jewelry was having with MyEmma, it plagued our Advertising Department for over a year.

I've saved a lot of time and also money using Mail Chimp.  It's also a great service for you to learn how to leverage your emails, they make it really easy, but it also has a lot of more powerful features I hope your company will grow and need to take advantage of.


Aaron Belchamber is the former GM of Random Art House advertising agency, former Advertising Director and Lead Web Developer for Riddle's Jewelry, and is currently a Business Consultant and Web Developer in Jacksonville, Florida.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Know someone in the home restoration or home recovery business? They can enter their business in a free directory that gets top search engine rankings.

Free advertising and business listings are available for all disaster restoration and home service companies.

RestorationAdvertising.com has decided to lend their great search engine rankings for "restoration advertising" to these companies as a gesture to the millions of dollars of business these companies have given to RestorationAdvertising.com over the past 10 years.  So if you're a home restoration, remediation, recovery, or service business, please sign up, have your friends sign up, if they get more phone calls and referrals and we can help, that's good news for everybody!

Just pass on this link:  http://www.restorationadvertising.com/directory/

Thank you again for letting us partner with so many incredible small businesses across the U.S. and Canada!


- Aaron Belchamber

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

NBC's 'Hannibal' Returns for Another Season. Mads Mikkelson & Hugh Dancy Outstanding, If You Can Stomach the Weekly Gore Fest

I'll admit that I enjoy horror movies, they're fun.  NBC's "Hannibal" is a one hour horror movie each week.  It's more like a blend of horror, suspense and crime.  What does that say about our society and myself for that matter that we enjoy watching shows that are so careless with human life?  Well, I don't speak for everyone, but if the ratings of the show were good enough to get picked up another season, the data speaks for itself.  Such disparagement and degradation of humanity unfolding visually in such a civilized and creepy way.  Is it a sign our society is crumbling or has horror like "The Walking Dead" and "Hannibal" become more accessible and mainstream since they're weekly shows and not bundled up in two hour Hollywood vehicles?  After all, horror movies have always been popular since the advent of movies, right?

"Hannibal" is riddled with many ironic gems, combined with the excellent psychotic symbiotic team of Hugh Dancy and Mads Mikkelson, all mixed together the ingredients really makes this show work.  I used "ingredients" kind of as a pun for what the show is centered around and that's food.  Human food.  Just kidding, but really, if this show is popular enough and it portrays such evil in such a civilized manner on prime time national television, what is the world coming to?

It's entertainment.

I mean, there are real sickos out there but yet, as entertainment, Hannibal features the worst mutilations, murders, sick, psychotic, grotesque, disfigurement and abuse of other humans and twists the souls of the victims and to some extent, the souls of viewers. There's a mild tone and always hints of cannibalism in each episode.  The audience knows Hannibal Lector is a sick man.  We know the gourmet meals he is preparing for himself and guests during an episode are actually human flesh.  We're kind of bystanders to his sick joke of introducing human flesh to the unsuspecting, violating their trust and friendship -- perhaps this is the most sinister actions after the actual murders of his victims?!  Yet, Mads Mikkelson is such a sympathetic character, despite his slightly porcelain rigidity and social awkwardness.  He is sometimes childlike -- perhaps he knows not what he's actually doing.  Yes, he is a brilliant doctor.  Yes, he likes to eat parts of people that he keeps in his freezer.  He's still a likable cannibal who has managed to live fairly normally in modern society and became a renowned psychologist.  He's adjusted much like vampires have adapted to blend into our society in other fictional stories.

Are we all really that desensitized?!  Okay, some may argue, it parallels the moral decay of our society.  Blah blah blah.  Lighten up, when Anthony Hopkins jumped off the screen as Hannibal and slowly sauteed Ray Liotta's brains in the second Hannibal, sure we cringed, but unlike vampires, sophisticated cannibals could be real and that's what makes cannibals like Lector really scary.  It makes you think if you meet someone too refined that perhaps they are a cannibal.  I mean, there must be something wrong with them, right?  No one's perfect.  You might even question the roast beef the next time you're over a "friend's" house.  Ask yourself -- do you really know them?!  :-)

"Hannibal" is not perfect, but it's a good dish... if you have the stomach for it.  I better end this review because I can just write until my hand literally falls off with bad puns about "Hannibal".  I'll put you out your misery by ending it now.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Where do YOU stand politically? Take "The World's Smallest Political Quiz" to find out!

This is a very interesting and probably pretty accurate test that also helps explain where you stand on personal and fiscal political issues.  Are you more of a freedom-loving Libertarian or do you think Socialism or Communism is the way to go?  Personally, no personal issues belong in politics, but unfortunately many people in the U.S. think politics should command every aspect of our lives.  Often, people are all for a centralized big brother but are for making exceptions for themselves, their companies, families, and peers.

Are you a political hypocrite?  Maybe you are and just don't know it, maybe you know someone who would refuse to take this quiz because they're so opinionated they will never have an open mind.  Well, how about challenging them to take it?!  Or better yet, share this link with your family and friends, if nothing else, it's a great conversation starter.  Who else doesn't want to get into a political argument with friends and family?!  It could be better than board game night, at least after the kids go to bed...

http://theadvocates.org/quiz/quiz.php

Incidentally, I scored heavy on both personal and financial freedom.  I'm a Libertarian and proud of it.  So where are you on the political map?!  Find out now!

“ The Quiz has gained respect as a valid measure of a person’s political leanings. ”
- The Washington Post

“ The World’s Smallest Political Quiz stands ready to help you determine your political identity. Quick and relatively painless. ”
- USA Today
“ The World’s Smallest Political Quiz is savvy and willing to tell you the truth. ”
- YAHOO! Magazine

“ Give this quiz a try. It’s fun, and who knows, you may be surprised at what you find. ”
- Politics on the Net by Bill Mann

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Show Review: "House of Cards" on Netflix a "Must See" If You Can Tolererate Headline-Paralleling Government Corruption Dramas (HPGCD)

That's right, we're starting a new genre with Netflix introducing Kevin Spacey in "House of Cards".    Headline-Paralleling Government Corruption Dramas (HPGCD).  He and Robin Wright are excellent as the calculating and ruthless politically ambitious couple a la Clintons.  The only difference is their names are Frank and Claire Underwood.  As a matter of fact, I believe after looking back to season two that there are more similarities of "House of Cards" to the Clintons than many who put the Clintons on a pedestal believe, but that's for the political pundits and not a reviewer of things.

Headline Paralleling

Indeed, looking back through headlines and political theater of the Clintons and other politicians, I wonder if the Underwoods aren't a composite of the Clintons and the Kennedys -- both left a destruction of lives and sometimes even murder (Ted Kennedy) and rape (Clinton), behind them in their wake of rising to the top.  "House of Cards" captures this effect very evenhandedly and present it almost as a natural reality and reaction as the political exploit, use, then discard people and whole organizations for the expediency of accomplishing their own ends. Ingredients to political success like barley, hops and water is to making beer -- it just can't be made any other way and work.

Lies, broken promises, set ups, blackmail, pushing people to suicide, murders, extortion.  Just another day in Washington (Democrat or Republican).  It's all happened and these stories are lurking in the shadows of some very prominent politicians from Kennedy, through Bush, and all the way to Obama.  Way before our modern day politicians, political intrigue almost seems as commonplace as the very corruption of government on display everyday.  It's just a part of our history.  The men in power get there almost by very questionable means.  It's funny and scary how we public have tolerated this.  We hear a lot of, let's say BS coming out of the mouths of politicians everyday and we, the public, know and can hear the disingenuous politicians preach values and morality when we all know many of them are the worst offenders.  As if hypocrisy and a large helping of condescension along with a superiority complex are the other ingredients to political success.  Without these ingredients, we don't get those effective bubbles in our beer.

I don't think I'm going out on a limb to say that every major event that unfolds (or one would argue Kevin Spacey's character forces through his own acts and ability to manipulate people) in House of Cards parallel past headlines related to the politically elite.  Someone's chief of staff was probably found dead with his head battered in and another rape victim who was propped up for media points probably turned into a drug-induced zombie.

The Truth is Sometimes Hard to Swallow 

Besides the disturbing realities that happen behind closed doors, the sets that portray the White House are very convincing.  The actor who plays the incumbent President seems to grow in power and being a convincing president as Season Two unfolds.  Kevin Spacey as Frank Underwood is so good, though.  At times, he breaks the scene and deadpans into the camera and speaks his deepest thoughts to us, the audience.  A la "Ferris Bueller's Day Off", which also used this device to engage the audience, Kevin Spacey takes his darkness and includes the audience in on sharing his philosophy of life, which is often logical but as warped as many of the politicians who unfortunately have been, and will continue to get elected.  Sometimes, he's self critical and there's a glint of shame in his actions, but it takes strength to overlook ones' weaknesses and vices as long as the ends are justified.

As a political soap opera,  House of Cards is excellent, there are some shifting-in-time moments where what would take years of bureaucratic red tape typical of the federal leviathan only takes an episode.  I am so thankful our beloved potential felons in Washington can't move as swiftly, usually, it's a reminder why we need a limited government.  No matter how you feel politically, no one can dispute the fact our government is probably even more corrupt and morally bankrupt than this show portrays Washington.  It's a reminder to us all that we need a limited government if for nothing else to limit the cancerous corruption that will probably always be part of the federal government.

The fact that Frank Underwood is a Democrat and Hollywood is so liberal makes me wonder, even hope, that even liberals see this reality.  After watching this show, I'm not more cynical than I was towards government, and I know it's just "fiction" -- you decide if many episodes don't parallel our reality.  Some episodes are a bit unbelievable and contrived, but Kevin Spacey makes this show work so well.

"House of Cards" is different, it's unapologetically honest, it's brutal in its portrayal of mostly Democrats in office, and it's creepy because you know it happens, that people are this calculating and ruthless, and the worst part -- a majority are morally corrupt and are beholden to granting favors at us tax payers' expense. They are in Washington to stay in power, to ensure we the people serve their self interests.  It's their job to spin this reality to make it look like they're there "working hard for the people."

We're simply pawns in their game of leverage, manipulation, and sometimes just a game to show off their power out of pride.  It's only just a $500 million bridge project, who cares where the money has to come from, I want a Casino in my state.  It's a great country we live in, I recommend watching House of Cards if nothing else to scare you into wanting what's best for our country -- limit government, you limit its stench of corruption.  It's the only way our country will survive in the end else they will take us down to stay on top.  These are people who will turn on themselves, they would eat others' young to stay in power.  Like the audience that knows this is really the way of the political world, we also know this is true.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

Papa Murphy's: Kramer from Seinfeld was onto something

Do you remember the episode of Seinfeld where Kramer had the brilliant idea of opening a restaurant where people had to cook their own food? Well, as silly as that sounds, there's a relatively new company with basically the same concept as a business model.   I believe it is a profitable one, however, because it is soooo good. The dough is fresh, the toppings are packed on. That's right, if you haven't gone to a Papa Murphy's to pick up a pizza, you won't wait for them to bake it, but you will have to take the pizza home then bake it yourself.

Set oven to 425 degrees and 20 minutes later, take it out of the oven and wait 5 savory minutes.  Our favorite right now is the Mediterranean Chicken.  We get the large, and yes, I'm a convert from just all meat and a few standard veggies on pizza to trying these crazy, hippy-dippy new fandangled pizzas and I won't go back.  I'll be more adventurous from now on!

Visit Papa Murphy's and try it!  We usually get two larges for our family and we have enough slices left over for a few lunches the following couple of days, all for under 20 bucks.  I'm a big fan of Little Ceasar's, too, but Papa Murphy's has the edge in flavor, variety and quality of ingredients.  You just can't go wrong, and there's nothing better than heating your home with the smell of pizza wafting from the kitchen.

They have normal and thin crust, but my whole take on paper thin crust pizza is pretty logical -- why not just order toppings on cheese if you don't like dough?  It makes no sense to me -- kind of like Kramer's idea, but who knew that something so crazy could taste so good.  I can't wait to try the stuff crust...

Incidentally, I am not paid to endorse any products, there are some companies that would probably prefer I didn't mention them, but if the good folks are Papa Murphy's would like to send me a few special coupons, I won't turn them down.  :-)

Monday, February 3, 2014

Movie Review: "The Pact" -- No Stars, but Packs A Punch

"The Pact" is an excellent horror movie written and directed by Nicholas McCarthy.  I'd tell you more back story about him and the actors, but I never heard of any of them until I watched the end credits and realized Casper Van Dien, the guy from that flop of an alien bug movie, appeared minor role as a cop / detective.  In their defense, I'm sure they never heard of me and they've accomplished a heck of a lot more in the movie business and not spending any of their spare time reviewing movies in a blog barely anyone reads.

This movie feels indy, seems like it's an indy, but it's shot and lit like the real thing.  It's a good story, has very good and convincing acting, and excellent lighting/cinematography.  It feels bleak and it's lit with a jaundice discomfort.

By the way, who cares if it IS an indy, anyway?  I'd like to see more movies made completely out of the mainstream, I can't wait for the day someone makes a movie and not a single corporation can touch them so the profits actually go to those who deserve them -- the writers and production company (and the actors, too -- but who needs to stick up for them when they have an awards show every week and gloat about how awesome they are?!)

The Pact's special effects weren't over the top, modest, but convincing.  Not once did I feel like once again I was watching another "almost" totally professional film where it didn't quite make it because the budget was so low the "crew" (the director's two buddies and some guy named Jay whose dad is a doctor so indulges his son with fancy video equipment) had to use an office chair for a camera dolly.  I believe I didn't see any dolly shots in this movie, the camera tilts and pans, but who says every movie needs a sweeping camera shot to immerse the audience?  Apparently, no fancy hollywood camera rigs mattered as the action, suspense, and supernatural action unfolded.  It's seamlessly edited and each moment purposeful.  I have no doubt Nicholas McCarthy knows how to squeeze every last ounce of production value out of his shoots, that's for sure!

If you like a bit of suspense ala Hitchcock with a darker twist, perhaps more "Psycho" and less "Rope", with a bit more gore and actual supernatural interventions, watch it.  It's a good two hour ride!

The creepy twist at the end ties everything neatly together.  I recommend "The Pact" on Netflix, it has tension, suspense, and some mystery -- along with some excellent acting.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Movie Review: "Red Lights" with Sigourney Weaver, Robert De Niro & Cillian Murphy. Save Your Bandwidth.

All three of these stars could not save a very weak story from imploding and falling on its own weight.  Do not bother watching "Red Lights" -- I wish I could have gone back in time and told myself what I'm telling you now.  Cillian Murphy shows he has range as an actor, he's the "Scarecrow" from Batman.  He can play a very sympathetic protagonist, too.  Despite some excellent acting, I found myself trying to figure out how many rewrites this thing went through to limp its way through production and on to distribution.  When De Niro floats in the air on stage and there's a terrible camera shake that's supposed to be an earthquake, I felt sorry for the movie.  I just wanted it to end, for the sake of the actors.... and for me.

Red Lights?  FahGetAboutIt!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Movie Review: "Flight" with Denzel Washington a Total Waste of His Talent

I'm not sure why I watched this entire movie, but did so I could write about it, I guess.  In "Flight" (2012), Denzel Washington plays a rake of an airline pilot who has more vices than a plane full of people have virtues.  Having seen the preview, I thought it would be interesting, especially in the wake of the real-life airline heroics by the fearless captain of a flight in real life by Chesley Burnett "Sully" Sullenberger, III.

Something you need to know:  Denzel's character, and the entire movie have nothing in common with Captain Sully.  That much is very, very clear. Oh, I wish it was...

Was there a purpose to this story?  Possibly, but to get to final minutes where (spoiler alert) the main character finally stands for something besides his own selfish interests, you are dragged through enough painful and awkward moments of his waning life all rolled into one tragic, selfish, misguided alcoholic.  He probably also contracted AIDS from the heroine-addicted girlfriend he met, but the writers probably just forgot to add that out of sheer clutter of the screenplay. 

I can hear all the Hollywood writers sitting around the table, working on the redraft before the execs would approve production:  "Let's make Denzel's character one unsaviory dude where nothing goes right for him -- American audiences want to see people worse off than them in these hard economic times."

Despite all his shortcomings, Denzel still manages to snort cocaine on screen while drunk and beseech his few friends with not-so-surprising self-destructive behavior.  You hope more for the character, I felt sorry for him and have to admit that I felt sorry for Denzel even though he probably made millions acting out such a travesty of human indignity and debauchery.  I added that last word "debauchery" just to round out my disdain of this movie and to hopefully impress upon the viewer that I'm so bored writing this review after being even more bored having watched this movie that I'm throwing out terms from another era that were once used to express my half-hearted outrage.

Don Cheadle, John Goodman, Bruce Greenwood all have one thing in common with Denzel Washington -- they all gave excellent character performances in an aimless movie so void of authenticity it's as if you are watching bad adult behavior before your eyes for the sake of pushing this meandering script to an "R" rating so it would simply have an excuse to have done poorly in the theaters.  "Oh, if it was toned down to PG-13, it would have done better."  This entire movie just seems to be written to reach the very same goal of Denzel's main character:  No where

Are you rooting for vindication or hoping Denzel's main character learns his lesson?  Perhaps, I was just rooting for the end credits to arrive as soon as possible -- like a flight that catches the right tailwind and you arrive 40 minutes earlier to your destination.  Believe me, I was hoping for a tailwind.  I'd suggest passing this up for Disney's "Frozen", even if you don't have kids.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Beware of Moving Company Scams: All My Sons Moving, Jacksonville Florida Practicing Deceptive Bidding & Switch and Bait Pricing

If you are moving to Jacksonville, I suggest getting multiple quotes and AVOID at all costs "All My Sons Moving" in Jacksonville.

I was quoted one price and they showed up and wanted to charge me double, including charging me a "fuel surcharge" on all three hours -- they only stayed for less than two!  What does fuel have to do with the two hours they were at my house, anyway?  They failed to mention any of this in my phone quote, even after I explicitly asked them if there were any extra charges, fees or taxes.

Simply put, this organization is a rip off and their treatment of me has already cost them THREE other  moves by friends of ours.  I will take it a step further and NEVER use this franchise no matter where I go.  "All My Sons" you have made a big mistake, so go waste money on your advertising I'll be happy to always recommend a company with scruples and share my experience with you to the world.  Business 101:  Stealing and deception will always bite you in the end.  People aren't as dumb as you think they are, they know when they're being fleeced.